Toxic Ties- When to stay and When to Say Goodbye

Every day is a new adventure of unexpected behavior with the narcissist in your life. You may be showered with kind words and affection one moment only to be shamed and belittled the next. It is a whip lashing cycle of mind manipulation.

What Is Narcissistic Abuse?

A narcissistic abuser can smell you from light-years away. They feel your vulnerable energy. Your openness for love and connection. This doesn’t have to be a romantic relationship. Narcissists come in friends, parents, or coworkers.

In the beginning, they reel you in with intense flattery and involvement. They gain your trust and you let them in. In a short amount of time, a cycle of abuse begins as they seek to gain power and control. The narcissist will devalue you to the very soul of your being. Your sense of security and judgment are left shattered. Sometimes, they will even ghost or discard you only to begin the cycle of abuse all over when they sweep back in to lure you with their intense charm. The same charm that sucked you into this mind-blowing mess.

There’s A Danger In Loving Somebody Too Much

In the song, “Sometimes love just ain’t enough”, beautifully sung by Patty Smyth, words speak volumes. When it comes to your well-being, love really isn’t enough. It isn’t enough when your emotional sanity is at stake. Is it really even love, you may even ask yourself? Should love feel like fear, anxiety, and complete self-doubt brought on by this person who supposedly “loves” you? This codependent romance usually occurs as a result of our own self-esteem, mental and emotional health, life experiences and family relations. Your own weakened self-esteem opens the door to let this toxic human into your world. (1) Narcissists do not take responsibility for relationship issues and if they do give an apology, it will rarely be sincere. They show no feelings of remorse. Instead, they believe themselves to be the victim and leave their partner failing to ever meet their expectations. (2) This is not true love. It is toxic ties to a person you will continuously fail to reason with.

How To Break Free

Any outsider can see the abusive relationship you are in. You know it yourself. Deep down you loathe this person who is so toxic to your soul and you want nothing more than to walk away for good. But, they have weakened you. You lack confidence and you don’t know how to leave them.

This is when you need yourself the most. No one else can save you, only you. Remember who you are. Dig deep, find the person you once knew and get tough. Advocate for your own birthright to a healthy life. Read self-help books, seek professional help, talk to supportive friends and family. Build yourself and your life back to harmony.

After some time, you realize it wasn’t you. You are strong and none of the awful things they worked so hard to get you to believe. They are not well in the mind and you just fell weak to being their prey. Your only flaw was that you are too gentle and too trusting and it fell in the wrong hands.